Yesterday I went to university to submit all of my paperwork. I finished typing the last of the assignments on Monday night and for a brief moment I enjoyed that wonderful feeling of lightness and freedom one gets once a big burden is out of the way. Unfortunately, it had changed overnight in to a full-blown postpartum depression and so I went to the university a proper and sorry mess. Every time I tried to say anything, it made me want to cry. Every time someone asked if I was ok, my eyes would tear up. As I said – a proper and sorry mess. My tutor thought that it was all about the job I didn’t get, which I suppose it was a bit, as in no job equals no stability, and yes it was a deception, but hey, it was almost a week ago, enough is enough! (Okay, fine, I am still a bit upset about it, but life goes on, really, I do mean it).
Anyway, I didn’t really talk to anyone at all cause, as I said, every attempt on conversation made me cry, and I definitely wasn’t going to make my PPD into a public event. People were feeling sorry for me as it was and you all know how much I like people feeling sorry for me.
And then I got back home, opened a box of wine, got out that jigsaw puzzle I had bought a few weeks ago and went into a full relaxation mode, screw year 7 reports, screw everything, I’m relaxing and that’s that.
And today, today I got a message from Jose on Facebook, he actually sat and wrote this long, thoughtful message about how I shouldn’t let it get to a point where I was feeling burnt out, how I should let go every once in a while and not forget to relax and recharge my batteries and what a wonderful person I was. And I felt loved. Cause he doesn’t really know me all that much, and here he serves me a perfectly accurate diagnosis of my PPD and cares enough to sit down and type it all up when he has only two days left to finish his assignment.
Two conclusions from all this: (1) I love Pepe, and (2) I need another jigsaw puzzle. Both shall be acted upon tomorrow, as I’m having coffee with Jose and then am going shopping.
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When the water reaches your lips - chin up!
- Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
For every person who wants to teach there are approximately thirty people who don't want to learn much.
- W. C. Sellar and R. J. Yeatman, And Now All This (1932) introduction
"You're blond, you're Polish, you're a woman, you really shouldn't think. And I don't mean it in a nasty way, I just mean it."
- José
Coming up...
Moving house.
Sprouting (!).
And somewhere in the middle of that - hopefully writing.
Sprouting (!).
And somewhere in the middle of that - hopefully writing.
Quotes of an undetermined period of time
When the water reaches your lips - chin up!
- Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
For every person who wants to teach there are approximately thirty people who don't want to learn much.
- W. C. Sellar and R. J. Yeatman, And Now All This (1932) introduction
"You're blond, you're Polish, you're a woman, you really shouldn't think. And I don't mean it in a nasty way, I just mean it."
- José
"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
- Albert Einstein
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